wikialityfandomcom-20200214-history
Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle
Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle is the mascot of the Saginaw Spirit, a junior league hockey team in Saginaw, Michigan. History of the Steagle Once upon a time, a Hockey team was stolen from Canada by a Great American named Richard Garber. Once in America, the team changed its colors to red, white, and blue, adopted a Bald Eagle logo, and called themselves the "Spirit". Nice choice, but not quite American enough for Stephen Colbert. So, Stephen called on his Internets Warriors, of the Tube Nation, to utilize their tube-manipulating skills to name their mascot after Stephen. They subsequently vote-bombed and crashed the Saginaw Spirit website, and soon enough, the front office of the Spirit were eating out of Dr. Colbert's hand. Mission Accomplished. The Saginaw Spirit are the only team worth seeing play the sport of hockey. They play for Stephen Colbert's personal glory. They are one of three American teams taking over the Ontario Hockey League (along with Flint and Erie), and frequently suck Canadians into submission. CANADA FTL. Steagle's introduction to Saginaw Stephen Colbert visited the town of Saginaw, Michigan in the form of a Gigantic Electronic Head to announce to the members of the Heartland the name of Steagle. Stephen implored the people of Saginaw to worship him, which they did. However, this does not mean that the people of Saginaw no longer worship Jesus, because he will always be their Lord and Savior. Steagle is one of the few things in the world (along with the Spirit hockey team) that is both hockey-related (making it un-American) and America-loving, walking that fine line between good and evil. This proves that Steagle is on the front lines in the war of truthiness and justice. Steagle is a Good Luck Charm Thanks to the entire Colbert Nation's moral and divine support, the Saginaw Spirit have been undefeated in their last 6 games since the introduction of Steagle. As long as the Colbert Nation continues its support, experts believe their winning streak will surpass all other American teams (in any sport) by 2008. Steagle....a Canada Lover??!?!?! Before the November 30, 2006 Ontario Junior Hockey League game against the Kitchener Rangers, Steagle was spotted holding the maple leafed Flag of Canada during the national anthems. An intrepid member of Colbert Nation took a video and posted the devastating evidence on YouTube. It can be seen here. Steagle may or may not have been having thoughts in regards to his eagle half-brother Stephen Jr., who was lost in Canada at the time (and currently still is on his Canadian excursion), and Steagle may have been holding the flag as a message, to say "I miss you." Or, the same affliction that plagued Stephen Jr., a disease known as "Canadianitis," may have also affected Steagle. People (or eagles) who suffer from "Canadianitis" have been known to enjoy maple syrup too much, add the word "eh" to the end of sentences, and develop a general hatred of anything American. Doctors have not checked Steagle to see whether or not he suffers from "Canadianitis," but we here at wikiality.com hope that by giving our attention to this matter, Steagle may receive the medical care he needs to cure him of this terrible affliction. Why Steagle held the Canadian flag is still unknown. However, it cannot be disputed that the game against Kitchener began the terrible three game losing streak that sent the Saginaw Spirit out of first place and sent Stephen Colbert into a frenzy during the December 5, 2006 segment of Stephen Colbert's Sport Report, in which Colbert nailed Spirit Coach Bob Mancini for not teaching his players to forecheck in the neutral zone, and for only giving 101%. The real cause of the slide may have been the 100% American Spirit players experiencing the demoralizing sight of seeing the Spirit good luck charm Steagle holding the flag of evil Canada. Hopefully Colbert himself never sees the damning evidence for himself. The thought of losing both of his eagle children to the terrible maple syrup bear-loving clutches of Canada might be too much for him, even more so than the Republicans losing Congress in the election of 2006. Hopefully he can help usher his two lost eagle children into some sort of rehab where they can both be cured of their "Canadianitis." 2nd Best Mascot Of 2006 Steagle was Gameops.com's runner-up to the Toronto Raptors mascot, who isn't even an American #1 mascot of 2006! Factoids *If The Steagle were sent to Iraq, our troubles there would be over in a month. *Chuck Norris did not lost to kill Steagle. External Links Saginaw Acknowledges the Greatness That Is Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.